Pieces of Time
by A-Beauteous-Imperfection
Summary: SECRET SANTA FOR: BensonNYPD Casey relives some hard moments in her life.


Pieces of Time:

Written by Thinkerinlove for BensonNYPD

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: MERRY CHRISTMAS BENSONNYPD! No, I didn't forget about you! I thought it'd be cooler to get your story ON x-mas! Well here it is! **

I parked on the side of the barren road, but I didn't get out. I glanced at the few cars going by, contemplating my decision. ShouldI go? I really didn't have to…the dreams would stop…Eventually_. _I sat there in the car staring at the ring with the necklace chain around it. The chain was rusting; I should've cleaned it before I left. But…If I left and came back, I could clean it. Yeah, that would work…But no. It's been almost five years…I have to do this. I unbuckled my seatbelt and slowly let it get pulled up. I held my hand on the door handle, waiting to open it. My body seemed like it was moving without my mind's permission. Pretty soon, I climbed out of the car, slammed the door and walked around my car down the road until I reached the gate. I stared up at the sign which read:

"_CEDAR HILLS CEMETERY"_

I walked through the gate, which creaked as I slowly pushed it open. I walked past the man sweeping the gravestones off with a duster, down to the big tree in the far left hand corner. I remember picking that spot out for the burial, it was perfect. It had the tree covering it with shade, but it had just enough sun to make it basically glow. I paced myself making sure I wasn't rushing it, I needed time. I closed my eyes while I trailed down the wide path laid out to the grave. Memories rushed in, flowing into my mind as I took each step...

_"STOP!" I screamed. His hands were closing down on my throat, I couldn't breathe. I started kicking my legs wildly, hoping to kick him. I eventually did, and he jumped off me, falling backwards. _

_ I took many deep breaths, trying to comprehend what just happen. "Charlie, are you okay?" I asked him. _

_ "W-w-what happened?" he asked._

_ "It's okay Charlie, you didn't mean to," I said rubbing his shoulder. _

_ He stared at my neck, his eyes growing wider as he came to realization of what he did. "I-I did that? Oh my god…I choked you?"_

_ "No Charlie, it's okay. I'm fine now, see?" I said trying to reassure him._

_ "I could have killed you, Casey! It's not okay!" he shouted. _

_ "But you didn't!"_

_ "I sure did come close though! I need some air…" Charlie said as he stood up and grabbed his coat. _

_ "Where are you going?" I asked him._

_ "I don't know…I need to get away from here for a bit," He answered as he grabbed the door handle, opened the door and walked out door slamming it behind him._

That was the first time he attacked me…Gosh, it feels like it was just yesterday…I barely remember what the argument was about. I think it was about work. Oh yeah…He was angry that I didn't call him when I got to work. We had a lot of arguments like that. But…I stayed with him. We were together until…that night in March. Yes, nothing could be worse than the night in March.

_ "Charlie, did you hear me?" I asked him._

_ "You're…pregnant?" He asked back. _

_ "Yes, aren't you happy? You always wanted children!" I told him. "Imagine a little baby around the house, one we could share happy memories with."_

_ "How did this happen?" he questioned me. _

_ "Do I need to explain?" _

_ "YES, YOU DO!" He screamed. "IS THERE ANOTHER MAN?"_

_ "No, Charlie, the baby is yours…I would never cheat on you…" I responded, taking his hand in mine and caressing it. "I love you."_

_ He pulled his hand quickly. "I beg to differ," he said coldly. He grabbed my arm and threw me against the ground. He knelt over me and started shaking my shoulders. "Who's the dad? Why would you cheat on me?" _

_ "Charlie, I never did! Stop hurting me!" I yelled._

_ He got off me and started kick me in the back. "STOP LYING TO ME!" He grabbed the chair from the kitchen and whacked me with it. Tears filled my eyes, as he continued to beat me. He pulled me up by my hair, "You have no heart…" He kneed me in the stomach, hard. I knew it was over…At least for the life inside of me…He threw me back to the ground and whispered in my ear, "That's what you get, liar." _

_ I closed my eyes and heard the door slam, I knew he was gone. I held my stomach, clutching onto what could have been. But I knew it was gone, for there was blood below me between my legs. _

I reached my destination, kneeling down as I did. I wiped the dirt off the gravestone. The letters that showed out every time I slid my hand over it spelled out:

"_Charlie Morris:_

_Age: 26_

_Born: May 15__th__, 1985 Died: April 2__nd__, 2007_

_We'll miss our beloved son and friend." _

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the homemade necklace he made for me when he proposed. I remember him saying he didn't know if it would fit or not so he played it "safe". I dug a little into the ground with my hands and placed the necklace in the ground. I covered it back up with the recently dug up land. I wiped my hands on my never worn jeans and sat on the ground. I look at the grave and began my planned speech.

"Hi, Charlie…it is Casey. I miss you, very much. I've been having these dreams about you, where we are living in that beachside house you always wanted and we had two beautiful babies. We named them David and Noelle, your favorite names. We were happy…No offense but in reality we were never really "happy". We were content, but you were always angry. I tried to help you, but you refused help…I'm so sorry Charlie…I shouldn't have left you, I loved-no, love-you. Please forgive me…"

I kiss my hand and touch the grave, before standing up to leave. I walk down the familiar path and look behind me only once. Hopefully my suffering will end…or maybe this is just the beginning…

_fin_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Merry Christmas! (Again) I hope BensonNYPD (and others) enjoyed this. **


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